“Ugh. Well, if all you have is processed, corporate peanut butter, is at least organic? Thank you. Hm. You don’t have to stir it, looks like. It’s probably not even really organic— I bet they just slap that label on and hope they fool someone. Well, I guess I don’t have much choice. I’ll take this ‘organic’ peanut butter. And do you have any disposable spoons, preferably hemp-based rather than plastic? I’m going to eat this in the street like a crazy goddamned animal.”